ohdickins:

littl-ebird:

laviesanspeur:

lightly-living:

iam-livingdeadgirl:

nevvzealand:

one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days

i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles….

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thought no tears as in crying too

MY LIFE IS A LIE

NO

well

have you ever seen someone so attractive it made you mad

meladoodle:

STOP READING IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 21 OR NOT MARRIED: 

i just counted my jellybeans and there are 69 of them (if you don’t get it i will explain, 69 is a SEXUAL number because it is a sexual position and you shouldn’t do it if you are NOT married, i am very sorry jesus for thinking about these things)

gnuliet:

hot people are always hotter when you find out how nice they are

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”

fries

do you ever look back at your mistakes

mishayourface:

welcometoellaytown:

egberts:

egberts:

why cant you surf microwaves

because theyre too small

THIS TOOK ME LITERALLY 5 FUCKING MINUTES TO GET

I told my dad this and he threw the tv remote at me

heartsblogcars:

methlabrador:

when people say “i dont believe in science”

what are you even talking about

thethrillofit:

im a BIT of a history nerd *puts a hand on my hip, puts on my glasses, cracks open an encyclopedia* did you know obama is the president 

ranetree:

I am an intelligent, eloquent, well-mannered young woman who just so happens to say “fuck” a lot.